I let my fears get the best of me ...

Tuesday - 5 miles

• 5.25 miles, 59' 41" minutes, 11' 22" min/mile average pace, 150 BPM average heart rate

As much as I wanted to wake up early enough to run before work, I couldn't bring myself to roll out of bed this morning. Yes, I did turn the alarm off but my fears and sleep deprived self got the best of me. I say that my fears got the best of me because I know that a 5 mile run will take me an hour to do. A 12 minute/mile is where I am right now and trying to push myself any faster than that will likely lead to an injury and I don't want that. Taking an hour out of my morning to run 5 miles didn't seem like a good idea this morning. I was afraid that it would take longer than an hour, which would make me really late for work. A silly fear I know but that is what was going through my head this morning when it was time to wake up. I still have days where my confidence disappears and I don't feel like the runner that I am. Instead, I feel like I am not a runner at all because I am no where near the point I want to be or feel I should be. I saw a quote the other day that really helped me deal with my insecurities today.

"I often hear someone say I'm not a real runner. We are all runners, some just run faster than others. I have never met a fake runner." -Bart Yasso

All I can do is continue running and I will improve as time goes on. I know that it won't happen overnight no matter how much my competitive nature wants it to. I have complete confidence that some day I will be a fast runner but that day is not today.

I eventually got to go for my run around 10:15 tonight. According to the Nike+ training program, my run was supposed to be 5 miles with some intervals. After 1 to 2 miles of easy running, I was supposed to do 4x2 minute intervals at tempo effort with 1 to 3 minutes of easy running in between. Before I started my run, I figured out which interval button I needed to push to get the right intervals. I didn't do my usual walking warm up again because I was on the treadmill and I only get 60 minutes of running before it automatically starts the cool down. (Stupid treadmill! I think I need to get my own or strat trying to run outside more ... where are you fall!) To compensate for my lack of walking warm up, I started my run with the belt pace set at 3.5 mph. I felt pretty good after 5 minutes at this pace so I bumped it up to 4.0. I continued running at this pace until my iPod told me that I had completed 2 miles. I felt absolutely fantastic. My heart rate was down and I wsn't breathing heavy. In fact, I was still breathing through my nose! I pressed the interval button and set my tempo effort to 5.0 mph while leaving the easy pace at 4.0 mph. Now I know that I was only supposed to do 4 intervals but I felt so great that I actually did 6 intervals, which ended up being just over 2 miles. I finished off my 5 mile run at an easy pace (4.0 mph) and then did a five minute walking cool down.

After a week of doing this reworked training plan, I really think it was the way to go. I felt fantastic after doing three 5 mile runs and even though I know that my was a little on that fast side (for me) for the longer distances I honestly felt like I could have kept going for at least another mile or two. I truly felt amazing after thonight's run. I am going to try and carry this feeling forward to rest of my runs this week, which is going to be one of the toughest weeks that I have had so far. My long run for this week is scheduled to 11 miles on Saturday. On Sunday (the very next day), I have the Ace of Diamonds 5K, which will be my first race since May and I am really excited about it.